Reclaiming your Self is not only critical to your soul’s journey in this lifetime, but to your professional life as well.
But while the focus here is on the hidden wounds and pain that fame creates, the bigger picture is the entirety of your Self. And to become more of who you really are requires that you honor the gifts of fame as deeply as you acknowledge the wounds.
Fame is an energy phenomena. It is cast upon you by others. It is not a reflection of the quality of your skill or your talent, or your worth as a creative. It is an effect of being highly visible and widely recognizable. Often it comes because of a broad acceptance of your work. But not always. Lives have been hit with fame for acts that were unintentional or deeply regretted. So, it has very little to do with your actual ability, talent, or Self.
By and large, fame is regarded by the public as an incredible gift that graces only a handful of people on this planet. It’s akin to winning the lottery. So amazing that it most certainly blesses with a life of carefree ease, fortune, unlimited opportunities, happiness, the best of the best. Utopia. This perception of fame is the initial illusion.
You know the experience of fame isn’t at all like that. The weight of it is burdensome, intrusive, paralyzing, inescapable, imprisoning. It’s true effect is severely limiting. It takes more than it gives.
But, in order to become more whole we have to acknowledge what it does give. Because it has shaped who you are now.
Fame affords two primary gifts:
- Fame forces you to turn inward. Now, depending on how you respond, it will either crush you or crack you open (or crush you until you crack open). It gives you a strong reason to find a way to become deeply grounded in your authentic self and live from your heart.
- Fame gives you the opportunity to use your personal influence and power for greater good. Your platform is wide and while you may have no interest in being a leader, the gift of fame sets you up so that you have the ability to do so. I recognize that as a creative, making art is at the core of what you do, but you are a whole person with a variety of interests, callings, passions, things that matter to you in this world. Fame gives you the ability to influence large numbers of people toward their highest good, if you choose to lead them.
I would argue strongly that the opportunity to lead others by becoming a soul that is deeply grounded in its authentic Self is your true calling in this lifetime.
We are each called to be a liberating blessing in this world. And while there is nothing wrong with living a life focused on your small circle of trust, you are meant for more. You are capable, by the blessing of fame’s attention on you, to become a life-giving force in this world. The nature of creativity is to bring forth that which does not exist. The purpose of a star is to radiate light and warmth. You are both.
One of the reasons it’s so important for you to heal your wounds and reclaim your Self, is so that you can show up in your authentic power and have an impact on people’s souls. You have this ability, love. You weren’t born just to act or sing or write or direct or leave a legacy of your work. You were born to create hope and light and faith and courage in souls.
Your work is a vehicle for that. But YOU are the one who has to step into the vehicle and radiate that.
And to radiate that, you have to be lit from within by hope and light and faith and courage.
Who you are now is someone with an incredible opportunity to change your relationship with fame, to waken, to dig yourself out from all that has buried You, to heal the hidden wounds, to learn how to manage your own power and show up in ways you’ve never shown up before.
Life becomes far more meaningful when living it brings light back into other’s souls.
And you start with You.
How do you become a soul that is deeply grounded in its authentic Self?
The short answer is you learn to love your Self.
The long answer is that you make a commitment to your Self to do the continual work of paying attention, digging yourself out from other’s definitions of you, returning again and again to ask your Self: what brings you most alive? And then you go and do what makes you most alive.
Loving your Self is one of those phrases that gets lost on us because we don’t really know what it looks like in practice. Most of us are indoctrinated to believe that “self Love” is the same as “not loving others enough.” It’s a false doctrine, but we’re still fooled. Most of us are more afraid of being labeled selfish than of being called a liar or a fool.
Self love is never selfish. True self love (like any authentic love) is generative, it’s giving. It affirms and broadens and expands Life and generosity. When you love your Self as deeply as you would love someone precious to you, you come alive. You take your place as a liberating blessing to others.
Self love is not entitlement, though it will give you the guts to say out loud what you do and don’t want to experience. It’s not acting like an asshole, nor does it make others feel less than. It fills you up, brings you alive, aligns you with ways of being that empower you to be a source of strength and guidance to this world, and to those in your life.
Most of us abandon our Selves, lose touch with who we really are and what makes us come alive. We conform to the expectations of others, to the identities others create for us. We take on roles – spouse, partner, parent, provider – and forget that we have a Self that deserves as much attention. If we’re lucky enough to wake up to how we’ve abandoned our Selves, we get the chance to meet our Selves anew.
Self love really is about creating a relationship with your Self, as if your Self were a being entitled and in need of your attention, time, kindness, generosity, and care.
Becoming a soul grounded in your authentic Self means you need to intimately know your Self – not in a psychoanalytical way, but with the familiar intimacy and understanding that you’d have with those closest to you.
Sometimes this means you become your own family. Sometimes this means you take on the role of being the parent you never had. Sometimes this means you become your own lover. Whatever it means to you, it means you show up, willing to address the ways in which you’ve abandoned, neglected, abused, been cruel to, said horrible things to, shut down, silenced, scared, and doubted your Self.
It means when fear takes over or when everything in you rebels against changing your ways of being, that you step back and recognize that there is an inner child in you who is just terrified and needs your reassurance that as an adult you can take care of You. It means you keep returning over and over to your Self.
You build that relationship with You.
What does this look like in practical terms?
- You let what you want matter as much as what others want.
- You stop saying mean, belittling, abusive things to your Self.
- You start asking what makes You come alive, and you choose that.
- You say no when your gut tells you something is not for you.
- You respond to what moves you.
This whole process is a journey. You have to surrender to the process and trust that you will be led. You have to remember that grace exists for you, that you’re allowed to fuck up, that you are only ever meant to move at the pace of creation.
And what you are creating, love, is the gift of your presence in this lifetime.
Be brave, love. Give your life the gift of You.